Sunday, September 14, 2008


I was awakened by an urgent call in the middle of the night by my sister-in-law saying that my husband whom I was separated with was taken to the hospital because of a ruptured appendix. She informed me, in effect reminding me of my responsibility to take care of the insurance since he is still my beneficiary.

Just a day before he was hospitalized he came to where I live to ask money which I was not able to give at that time. He was irked that I did not give him, so he threatened to kill me. He raved and ranted about his old jealousies with my co-workers, all of which is not true of course. It is this thing he keeps rewinding like a broken record, accusing me endlessly. And threaten me that he would kill me if he caught me. That night I cried to God. Questions begin to crop up in my mind. What have I done to deserve this torture? Why won't he leave me alone in peace? Have I done something wrong to God for making me suffer like this?

And now that he is in need of medication, and here I am, still trying to do all I can to help him. I couldn't leave my son Israel be troubled on his own with this overwhelming problem. I had to do all I can but it does not mean that I still have any feeling for him. How can I still love him when all he did in our married life is to accuse me, beat me and extort money from me, not to mention that he has been unfaithful to me a number of times. What drove me to still help him is the fact that I am always helpful with those who are in need. As long as I have the capacity to give help, I'd give it and why not? It is my responsibility and I won't run from it. He is a fellow human being.

To me he is practically my enemy. When someone throws a stone at me, I must throw back bread. I still have to follow God's principle no matter what. I still have to show kindness to those who have shown only evil towards me. As long as I have done what is right. I only hope that in time he would be touched by the spirit of God to reform himself for the good of his soul.

My sister told me that she would pray that we would be reconciled with my husband. I was not amused by her statement. I told her that I had prayed to God for a long time that he would separate us finally. It was the only thing that can make me escape from the torture marriage that I was imprisoned in. It was given by God after a long time of petition so I feel it would not be right that she pray for our reconciliation. God knew what I had endured for a very long time. And it was not easy. It is his goodness that had made me escape from there. And I don't want to go back there. It is just plain stupid.

I went to the hospital not to visit him but to give the MDR, or the Member's Data Record because it is needed for the processing of the Phil. Health Insurance. My son was there so I gave it to him so he can be discharged from there. I will be going back to work to get additional forms as is instructed.

I hope to reap good fruits from the good seeds that I have planted. I have forgiven him of course. Let it remain right there, nothing more.

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